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A Love Beyond Borders staff understands the difficult decisions and choices you are making. We are here to assist you in making the very best decisions for you and your baby.
Frequently Asked Questions of Birth Mothers
Why choose adoption?
The choice of adoption is a positive alternative to an unplanned pregnancy. Many women who find them selves in a crisis pregnancy situation do not search out all of their options. An adoption plan can be what ever you want it to be.
Who will help me cope with this decision and deal with the loss of my child?
The decision to choose adoption is not an easy one to make on your own. It is a difficult and often painful choice. However, there are ways to lessen the pain when dealt with in a positive environment. Our agency will provide counseling at no cost to you.
Can I choose the adoptive family of my child?
You have the option of selecting the parent(s) who will be adopting your baby or we can make the match on your behalf. The family makes a profile, which is like a mini-scrap book that will tell you about their lives together. The profiles we will present to you are filled with photos of the family, their vacations, their home and lots of information about them. The family will also include a "Dear Birth Mother" letter addressing other frequently asked questions such as their religious preference, their likes and dislikes, hobbies, etc,
How do I know the adoptive family can provide a safe environment for my child?
All of our prospective adoptive parents go through intensive background checks and in Colorado go through a psycho-social evaluation. Social Workers meet them in their homes to interview them and it normally takes months to assess and approve an adoptive parent. The couples are required to provide a State Bureau of Investigation report and a child abuse clearance report. They must provide birth certificates, a copy of their marriage license, physician reports that include HIV test results, etc. We screen the adoptive families intensively for any sign that they would or could abuse/neglect any child in their care.
Will I be able to meet the adoptive parents in person?
Yes, you can have as much or as little of a relationship with the adoptive family as you want before the baby is born. If you wish, they can arrange to meet you and talk on the telephone. You can call to let them know how your doctor's visits are going. If the family is able, and you are willing, they can even attend a doctor's appointment with you. However, if you prefer to have a closed adoption, with out ever having a relationship with the adoptive couple, that is also available. We are happy to discuss the various options of closed, semi-open and open adoption with you.
Can I make an adoption plan without the birth father's consent?
Yes, if the birth father is unknown or if you or we are unable to locate him, we will attempt to terminate his rights according to state law. If the birth father is known and unwilling to terminate his parental rights, then it is very important to discuss this with us. For more information on your specific situation, please call A Love Beyond Borders.
How do I pay for the medical costs of my pregnancy?
The choice of adoption is always at no cost to the birth mother but hospital delivery charges will be paid through your insurance. If you do not have medical insurance, we will provide you with resources such as Medicaid for paying for your medical bills. The portion of the medical expenses for the child not covered by insurance will be provided by the adoptive family.
Can I have contact with my baby while I am in the hospital?
You can see your baby as often or as little as you wish while you are in the hospital. There is no right or wrong way, and it is very much determined by each woman’s unique personality. This quality time you spend with your baby in the hospital will create very special memories. Our social workers will be happy to discuss this with you.
When will the adoptive family take the baby home?
In most situations the adoptive family is at the hospital while you are in labor. If you would like, they can even be in the room with you during the delivery. We suggest they come to your state a day or two before your estimated due date. If you deliver before your estimated due date, they will be on the next flight out of their home town,
After the baby is discharged from the hospital, the adoptive family will take the baby to their hotel. In five to ten days, they will receive clearance to leave the state and take the baby home.
What if I haven’t yet selected an adoptive family when the baby is born?
In extreme cases, when the adoptive couple has not yet been selected/matched or is unable to arrive before the baby is released from the hospital, we will place the baby in a transitional home referred to as cradle care. The cradle care families are screened as intensively as the adoptive family and very experienced in infant care.
How do I give my consent?
Each state has its own law governing the way a birth parent gives consent to an adoption. For more information on the general consent process, please call us for more information. We can provide you with resources for low-cost and/or free legal assistance or you may hire an attorney to counsel you.
Will I have to find my own attorney for the consent?
No. The agency in your state typically will cover the normal and anticipated legal fees required for you to consent to the adoption.
Can the agency help me with living expenses if I am unable to work?
Each state has different laws regarding living expenses. However, most states allow for some type of help during your pregnancy and for your recovery time after birth. You can ask our staff about your specific needs and the legality of our agency paying these bills.
Will I be able to know about my child's health and well-being after his/her birth?
Ongoing correspondence is definitely an option for you as a birth mother. You may send the adoptive family letters and pictures if you wish—many adoptive families keep a scrapbook for their adopted child and often include pictures and letters from their birth parent(s). Any exchange of letters, pictures and gifts is handled through A Love Beyond Borders.
Additional resources:
Emotional Issues for Birth Parents
Colorado resources for pregnant women
DO YOU HAVE OTHER QUESTIONS NOT ANSWERED HERE?
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CALL OUR OFFICE AT 303-333-1572.